Our Love is a Queer Haven
My dating life as a 20 year old queer or bisexual identified woman has been quite a journey. I have swayed between dating girls and boys since I was sixteen, but always noticed my soul’s pull towards the intensely emotional connection I had with my ex girlfriends. After misplacing trust in men, wellp boys, really, who couldn’t maintain it, I decided to stop dating altogether for my second year of university. Then one day, the Internet offered me the oh-so-magical sparkly digital age storybook matchmaking technology called dating apps.
I am what the 21st century calls a living enigma; I met my amazing, supportive, tender, and silly partner of almost a year on my very first Internet date. An annoying enigma no doubt. Her name is Kayleigh; we met on Bumble. Shout out to “Women’s Only” Bumble!
About a week and a hundred chat bubbles later, I sat nervously in a bar waiting for my very first Internet date. Each time the door opened, my heart exploded with nervous excitement. Was it her? Is this going to go anywhere?
In the past few months I have collected and compiled images and words about my lover amidst landscapes I hope she can one day wander with wonder. For three of the last fourteen months, I lived in California for the summer while she remained in Montreal.
She has brought unprecedented love, life, light, and growth into my life since we met. Kayleigh, thank you for teaching me about patience, balance, loyalty, and myself.
Without further adieu I present to you:
Our Love is a Queer Haven
I have been blessed by a Bumble™ bee, she brought me pure honey.
Flying above the Pacific Ocean coming back to you,
I feel a weak tenderness,
My heart jittering amidst tight woven rib cages
After 83 days of digitized delight.
shoulders + boulders
Each time your gaze meets mine with those glossy brown eyes,
I feel my ego drift out of my chest,
Exposing my silliness.
With ease and effervescence
At the sound of your unexpectedly untethered giggle.
You lit an amber coloured fire on a winter March evening.
You are a site for liberation.
Unearthing dark roots of my self hatred,
Planting seeds in a heart shaped vase,
Where new roots strengthen,
a cactus soon will flower.
Amidst a rushed morning routine,
I bathe in the healing energy,
Dancing while brushing our teeth,
Sweet potato fries leftover.
“I love you in those glasses”.
hazel eyes meet
She’s Beauty, She’s Grace, she’s Miss Pacific.
The Pacific Ocean reminds me of you.
Something about its constance,
And the pushing and pull of its grounding tides.
Before I met you, I listened to SZA on the warm sand alone,
Took late night drives to the peninsula to overlook the jagged coast,
Walked under the pier at sunset waiting for its green flick,
And dove deep under ocean waves to silence my anxieties.
You practice balance, not just preach it,
Always listening when you hear,
Giving love, not merely taking,
And speak out, transcending ignorance.
You and Miss Pacific play intertwining roles in my life;
Calming and validating,
Teaching and learning,
Immersing me in tender love.
Thank you Miss Pacific.
Thank you Kayleigh Grace.
gloss + glass
About the Author
Natalie Olivares (she/her) is studying Gender, Sexuality, Feminist, and Social Justice Studies and Art History at McGill University in Montreal. She is a photographer and poet; more of Natalie’s work can be seen on her blog, Confessions of a 21st Century Chick. Natalie has radical feminist and queer centered views with an intersectional lens. She loves dogs, the ocean, R&B music and plants. She is optimistic and pessimistic about the future, given our current socio-political state, but is grateful to be a part of the inclusive-media revolution!