Safe Conversations Around Sex is Missing in Wellness & This Couple is Changing That
Sex with a safe partner shouldn’t feel like rocket science, it should feel like rockets flying. A Sex Journal is here to do just that through the simple yet profound tool: a beautiful, shared journal for couples to reflect on and explore sex together. They did do the rocket science for us all though, by collaborating with researchers, sex educators, intimacy coaches, and two pilot studies, all to create a multidimensional exploration of sexuality.
Here are co-founders and real-life couple Levina and Caleb on A Sex Journal
Cover illustration courtesy of Anna Kovecses
Keeping A Sex Journal for Couples has given me space to reflect on my body image in a way that I’ve never really explored before.
It’s odd — I have a clear memory of being a young boy and hearing one of my middle school classmates yell, “You have a small penis!” It wasn’t directed at me, but the impact was the same. I remember being surprised, then immediately anxious. Was something wrong with my body?
That question stuck with me for nearly two decades. It popped up in a lot of forms, especially during sex. Was she satisfied? Did I measure up? What did she think?
And yet, I never said any of those thoughts out loud — not to my partners, not to my friends, not even to my dog. It wasn’t until I started journaling about my sex life with Levina that these fears finally came to light.
At first, I was scared to be that honest. In many ways, I believed that if I never put my fears out there, no one could ever validate or deny them. I’d never have to face the mortifying possibility that I wasn’t enough.
When I finally journaled about my self-doubt with Levina, her response extinguished my inner monologue. She was surprised — she’d written about our connection. It didn’t even cross her mind that my body was anything but perfect.
It’s taken me a long time to come around and see that, and I couldn’t be more grateful that I finally did. Accepting and loving myself as I am has given me incredible freedom and confidence, both in sex and the rest of my life. I’m excited to unleash that potential for everyone on the planet.
Keeping a sex journal with Caleb opened the door for me to discover my voice.
When we started out, I really struggled. I wasn’t used to deep diving about my sexual experiences. It was hard for me to tap into how I felt, much less share feedback and ask for what I wanted.
One part of me wasn’t surprised. I grew up in a household that didn’t talk much about feelings — I was used to piping down and sweeping things under the rug.
On the other hand, I also advised corporations, nonprofits, and entrepreneurs on storytelling. Surely, I was a clear communicator. What was going on?
A Sex Journal for Couples gave me the space to get really curious. It was way more than a tool to explore sex — it was also a lens through which I could see myself. When I took a closer look at my work, for example, I realized that I was avoiding my wants and needs. I wasn’t acknowledging my dreams, setting boundaries with my clients, or taking the risks I wanted to.
Journaling about sex with Caleb helped me play with expressing myself. As I practiced connecting to my feelings, reflecting on my experiences, and sharing what I wanted in sex, I started showing up to my work very differently. I finally gave myself permission to be creative and bold. It transformed the way I moved around in the world.
When it comes down it, sex is intimately related to power. A ritual of reflection, where my voice mattered, allowed me to reclaim mine.